Africans Who Should Go Gently Into That Good Night: Episode 1

Here at AfroLens, we are committed to providing a platform for African voices, and once in awhile, we attempt to bring awareness to a problem affecting Africans globally; other Africans.

With the recent coverage of African diva despots, one is left with this impression that Authoritarianism in Africa is the inevitable trajectory of the ‘the dark continent’. Lets be honest my fellow Africans, we’ve produced a series of  histrionic and megalomaniac sociopaths with a penchant for human flesh, poverty, and civil disorder. But we have also bore witness to the rise of great leaders like Lumumba, Nkrumah, and the often neglected martyr Thomas Sankara, who rejected the stereotypical role played by many of our leaders; kleptocratic house-sitters for Europe.

Then theres those Africans that should belong in a Steven Seagal movie playing a villian, and not in reality. Amongst people. Ruling them at that. But in Africa, calcified cranial nerves are a prerequisite to ruling a nation. In order to bring awareness to the serious mental health crisis affecting our political elites, I’ve decided to offer a service to my fellow Africans. As a fiery nationalist, I have decided to dedicate a section of this blog to spotlighting the cocktail of crazy we call African leaders and policymakers.

So without a further ado, let me introduce you to our first nominee Equatorial Guinea’s, Monsieur Obiang Nguema Mbasogo.

In the time it took to spell this name, this fine gentleman ate someone. But that’s not his crime. Despite the rumors of cannibalism, stolen elections, civil wars, and corruption, Mr. Mbasogo has a far greater crime to answer for. He decided to reproduce and give birth to what can only be described as Albert Fish and Amon Goth’s lovechild. Once again, meiosis fails Africans!

This fine young man has recently caused a firestorm over his purchase plans for a 375 million dollar yacht. According to the Daily Mail, the purchase price of the luxury yacht is approximately “three times what his country spends on healthcare and education every year.”

Equatorial Guinea is an oil rich nation, and predictably the Obiangs have allocated the profits and funds for their private collection of celebrities, mansions, luxury cars, and European postal codes. Mr. Obiang’s economic policies would make the likes of Mugabe look like Paul Krugman. In tribute to this treacherous demon and his equally venomous seed, I wish you both a long kiss goodnight. May the revolutionary momentum spreading through African lands reach the shores of your decadent mansions. May your citizens finally force you to take the long good nap you rightfully deserve. Obiangs, go gently into that good night!

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